Nice to Know, Good for You!

Betch L has been my friend for almost the whole of my stay in college. Your first impression of her would be a quiet, bug-eyed girl. Now that I know her a lot better, I can say she is quite interesting to talk to and pretty fun to hang out with. Occasionally though, I noticed that she’d mention things regarding herself that none among our circle of friends gives a hoot about. Betch L surprises us with information we don’t need.

A few of the things you might have heard her say:

• I saw him today!
• I bought a magazine
• I got a perfect score in accounting
• Guys, I got a new top!
• I’m so happy
• I’m going shopping today!
• I’m going to urinate! You guys wanna come with me?
  

I’ve been dealing with her for more than two years now, and I have involuntarily created a template on how to address her words. If you ever happen to meet her, I have here a few lines that might be helpful when she comes in contact with you.

You always start off by looking into her eyes with your mouth slightly open. Softly say ‘ahh’ while she is still talking. Nod a bit with your mouth shut or your lips pursed until she finishes.

When she’s done, give her a blank face and follow it by saying either of these two:

• Nice to know!
• Good for you!

Say both if you wish. Next, you combine it with any of the following:

• Cannot live without knowing that fact!
• Very informative!
• You made my day!
• That information just made my day!
• That’s so inspirational!
• It’s an honor to be blessed with such information!
  

Say it like you mean it. I suggest you also use hand gestures and try to look overwhelmed by the information that has been imparted to you.